Evening Comics Target Trump's Controversial 'Gold Card' Visa Scheme

TV's top entertainers used their broadcast criticizing President Donald Trump's recently unveiled immigration initiative, dubbed the "golden visa," describing it as a clear pay-for-access scheme for the rich.

Colbert's Sarcastic Take

Kicking off his show, Stephen Colbert presented a sardonic holiday song directed at the commander-in-chief. "He is making a list, reviewing it twice, before handing that list to the people at ICE," he intoned. "Donald Trump ... ruins all he comes into contact with."

The subject was the new initiative that allows foreign individuals to buy U.S. legal status for an investment of a million dollars, with a "top-tier" option for five million. An official portal promises processing "with unprecedented speed."

"A brief thought for you to wealthy applicants: prior to you pay, have you considered Canada?" Colbert joked.

He pointed out that the program is also intended to "get cash" from companies wishing to hire foreign workers, involving large payments. "That is a lot of fees, but if you sign up, you additionally get a complimentary stay at a hotel of your selection – provided that it's the that one hotel," he added.

"Unprecedented background check the government has ever done," stated Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick, "a $15,000 vetting to ensure these individuals absolutely meet the standard to be in America."

"That is important, you have to prove you're fit to be an American," Colbert responded. "First question: how many hamburgers would you eat for a free T-shirt?"

Jimmy Kimmel's Scathing Critique

On his own show, Jimmy Kimmel referred to the initiative the "U.S. Access Express Card."

"This is a card that will permit rich international individuals to live here," he said. "For a million bucks, you get legal resident status, you get a pathway to citizenship, and a presidential pardon for one major crime of your choosing."

"Perhaps it's time to change that message on the Statue of Liberty – to hell with your huddled masses. Hand over a million bucks, you're in!" he joked.

Kimmel mocked the brevity of the form, saying it is "harder to start a Wordle account." He remarked that Trump "believes citizenship is something you can sell, like a timeshare."

"Exactly, the best people are the rich people," Kimmel quipped. "That's what Jesus always said! Read it in the Bible. He says it's simpler for a camel to go through the eye of a needle provided that you offer the needle a million dollars."

Seth Meyers discussing Grocery Struggles

On another network, Seth Meyers addressed Trump's plunging approval numbers amid economic worries. "Voters gave Donald Trump a another term since they were angry about the economy," he said.

This week, in a attempt to address affordability, Trump held a press conference in front of a array of grocery items, where he reacted oddly to boxes of cereal.

"Lovely packaging, I think I'm going to take a few of them with me to my place and have a lot of fun," Trump said. "Such as the Cheerios, I haven't had Cheerios in a while."

"Trump is so extremely weird," Meyers responded. "Like, you're going to take them back to your cottage to have a lot of fun with them? What are you gonna do with those Cheerios?"

Meyers finished by mocking conservative media coverage of Trump's financial record. "Perhaps instead of complaining, you should give him a shiny trophy similar to what FIFA did," he joked.